i had a late start to the day because i woke up late, because i slept late last night, because i had a night of disaster in the kitchen. 4 batches of failed muffins, that's 1 kg of flour, and untasty breakfast for the nxt month.
but queerly, i'm in a rather good mood, and feeling a little surreal. the baking-for-Christmas plans are cancelled, so i suddenly find free time on my hands to relax, and just wait for the bbq tonight.
now there are so many avenues for me to write/speak my thoughts that i no longer know what/who to turn to. there's this blog, there's my own log, there's our shared log, and there's emails to friends. sometimes i think maybe i should abandon this blog. but it's nice to have this space to shout out nonsensical and trifle things to nobody in particular. the logs are for more serious and significant discussions usually. doesn't help that i now trace pretty pictures on tumblr, and i've suddenly lost all passion for taking photos, so i no longer produce nice photo albums to upload here to keep friends in the know of what i'm up to. so what can i still put in this blog?
i've always been charmed by poetry. recently i've been reading Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, and i was very tickled by how his author's words to the reader is always in poetry. and there were some really nice imagery too. i love how poems frames and adorns certain thoughts and emotions. i'm now in the midst of reading this book on Marriage, which expounds from the Song of Solomon. the author also mentioned how true love, which is so hard to define and pin down in a scientific way, is described in poetry in the Song of Solomon. indeed, i always find poetry stronger in communicating many things, because many things in life are not single-dimensional. i really wish i could talk in poetry like Bunyan. i was wondering how i could hone this skill, and keene brought up that hymns are exactly that too! i think i need more guitar sessions. and maybe this space can become practice for my rhyming efforts!
we're nearing the end of yet another year. i started keeping a blog since 2004. this means i've been blogging for 7+years! the details recorded in those fine print are really amazing. i see myself in my childishness in JC, even in JC! now i understand why those sec1 kids are like that! i also see my writing improving, becoming more lyrical. I see my spiritual man growing. there was that detailed record of the change from Singapore to Melbourne. the changing personality, realizing what is important. the constant struggle ever since i came back to Singapore. however it can be a rather inaccurate view of my times, cos i tend to blog when i have photos of recent events, or when i want to lash out at something or things. hardly do i have the chance to blog about little joys. but i do notice myself becoming less thankful. i wonder what will become of this blog. i wonder who still reads it.