i had some important thoughts to put down here but i'm so tired i cannot remember now, so it's randomness time.
it was a torturous 2.5 hours in which i lost half my hair and nearly got all the rest plucked out by the roots. my hair was transformed from a state of frenzied emergency to a state of frenzied non-emergency. it will take a while to get used to.
unknown days ahead continue to loom closer. and i'm still not fully prepared.