this is an overdue post. penned during the painting days.
dirty and weary.
both physically and spiritually.
the house is a mess and there is no rest.
issues press, people stress.
but oh God, you see, you know.
the night wear on, the fumes oppress.
the vehicles whir by continuously on the streets below. the intermittent creaks, the stuttering engine.
listen closely. in the grass patches, the insects drone, telling me, we have endured the filth and the pollution, and we still brim with life to call out. it is always there. if you listen for it.
the lights glare unblinkingly from the flats opposite. the yellow streetlights shine tirelessly, supervising the traffic.
look up. the moon glows, gentle and quiet. not clamouring for attention, contented in its beauty. it is always there. if you look for it.
you have to tune your heart to it. to the simple pleasures in life. that do not press. that do not stress.
the business of meeting up. the love grown cold, the sincerity not upkept. this human thing, it is just so tiring.
the soul has long wandered far from the safe harbour. there is the knowing, the trying, but no rest and peace. no freshness in hearing His voice. no joy in His service. has the gentle Dove abandoned His abode?
so. something has to go.
your spiritual life is only as good as how it is in secret with God. so much hypocrisy goes on. i long to live a life of abandonment. i want a secluded place where no living soul can interrupt, where i can kneel and spread my all before Him. i cry without tears.