the pics just make me go awwwwwwwwww.
nich lee's blog
Monday, December 29, 2008 @
@ sweet rest.
that slightly parted lips, the deep sleep and peace, resting on trusty hands. how blissful the rest. fearing nothing. helpless. simply trusting. something i wish i can attain to.
Thursday, December 18, 2008 @
don't be surprised when u see me plucking off leaves and smelling them. that familiar uplifting scent. callistemon 'little john' or something like that i remember. now i understand the meaning of plants contributing to national identity.
it is heartening to see that the saint also went through similar struggles. but the content, intensity and more importantly, the response of the struggles are so beyond my reach i feel ashamed at my lacklustre faith.
a challenge, a turning. a mistake, another fork in the road. at times i've hoped. at times i wanted to let go. still the thought lingers, but it doesn't matter any longer. but i'm finding no longer any meaning in our conversations. i don't understand in what way i am to minister. maybe they are afraid of silence, because that is when the gnawing hole inside of them cannot be ignored. set me as a watchman, lest we are hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
it is heartening to see that the saint also went through similar struggles. but the content, intensity and more importantly, the response of the struggles are so beyond my reach i feel ashamed at my lacklustre faith.
a challenge, a turning. a mistake, another fork in the road. at times i've hoped. at times i wanted to let go. still the thought lingers, but it doesn't matter any longer. but i'm finding no longer any meaning in our conversations. i don't understand in what way i am to minister. maybe they are afraid of silence, because that is when the gnawing hole inside of them cannot be ignored. set me as a watchman, lest we are hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008 @ tis the season
when we remember
the light that came to darkness
the life that revived the dead
the Word became flesh and dwelt among man
God was made manifest in the flesh
it was an act of love
Love was when God became a man,
Locked in time and space, without rank or place;
Love was God born of Jewish kin;
Just a carpenter with some fishermen;
Love was when Jesus walked in history,
Lovingly He brought a new life that's free,
Love was God nailed to bleed and die
To reach and love one such as I.
Love was when God became a man,
Down where I could see love that reached to me;
Love was God dying for my sin
And so trapped was I my whole world caved in.
Love was when Jesus met me, now it's real;
Lovingly He came, I can feel He's real!
Love was God, only He would try
To reach and love one such as I.
end of faith, as its beginning,
set our hearts at liberty.
if you love me, keep my commandments.
the light that came to darkness
the life that revived the dead
the Word became flesh and dwelt among man
God was made manifest in the flesh
it was an act of love
Love was when God became a man,
Locked in time and space, without rank or place;
Love was God born of Jewish kin;
Just a carpenter with some fishermen;
Love was when Jesus walked in history,
Lovingly He brought a new life that's free,
Love was God nailed to bleed and die
To reach and love one such as I.
Love was when God became a man,
Down where I could see love that reached to me;
Love was God dying for my sin
And so trapped was I my whole world caved in.
Love was when Jesus met me, now it's real;
Lovingly He came, I can feel He's real!
Love was God, only He would try
To reach and love one such as I.
end of faith, as its beginning,
set our hearts at liberty.
if you love me, keep my commandments.
@ fairytales
i've never dared to dream. maybe that's why i'm so uninteresting. sometimes i wish i could dream and believe in it. sometimes i wish it could be true, but i dare not immerse myself in it. lest i hold on to too high a hope and be disappointed. lest i be dissatisfied with the lot cast to me. all the sweet talk and niceness - can it last an eternity? can you guarantee it will not change down the years? i don't want to pierce myself through with many sorrows. but like she said, a threefold cord is stronger. i can only be sure of the sweetness of His love, who changes not forever. the sweetness, not too sweet that it makes you sick, but the gentle, pure sweetness, coating the bruised bitterness of our encounters. when can i ever grasp fully of it and not let it go? how long must i repeat this, to hold it and then to let it slip, and to wander helpless and desperate till i'm brought back once again to the fold? is this the pattern i must go through so i will cherish each time of union i have with Him?
is there happily-ever-after on earth? i believe not. because earth does not exist in ever-after.
is there happily-ever-after on earth? i believe not. because earth does not exist in ever-after.
Sunday, December 14, 2008 @ she rambles
the suspense and mystery on the screen translated to the pool of blood on the floor before you. it was a little surreal. why scream why be frantic. is it just a show, something u can brag about, an rare experience to be paraded in front of friends. is it all about who is the hero of this episode? i only know if that was it i failed terribly again. i've told myself let it never be because of 'me'. the throbbing pain at the back of the skull in the afternoon. the light brought to my attention at night. they are all like warnings sent before the disaster struck.
it is a misery to be unable to enjoy the exercise. the eyes, the itchiness. they refuse to open. the heat and humidity clinging onto you. it is so hard to breathe. no breeze to bring some relief. the heat radiating from the cloudy sky. the body succumbing to ill discipline once again. the drudgery. i just want to grip this little island and give it a good shake and shout why no wind!! roars. i'd gladly run the treadmill with full wind function which i talked about previously. and! the fan in my room failed me just as this bout of humidity hit me.
going along the familiar route. the bright airy weekend morning mood going for band pracs. no trespassing trespassers will be prosecuted. the sign is gone now. multiple climbs over the gate. the barbed wire has dropped down now. it'd be easier to climb over the gate now. the friendly lion waving to us. the days of wearing uniform.
the morning was heavy with dew. the stray dogs emerge from the misty distance and linger around the lonely roads. hawkers starting up their stalls. the peacefulness. the simplicity. it tugs at my heart strings. the stray dogs are just so adorable. that little kitty mewing away at that tyre. poor thing! so dangerous!
to be a mum you need to be able to make quick decisions and fast actions, bark out orders and set things right while 5 conversations are going on at once, the tv on at full blast, 6 kids running around and being completely crazy. and you must still be nice. it is scary.
ah. to be contented. do justly. love mercy. walk humbly with thy God.
we will all return to dust anyway. the pains the aches. i'd rather die young. but depends on whether i've completed my purpose on earth. "when it's time for you to die, make sure all you have to do is die."
revive us again. the work of thy hands. in the midst of the years make known. in wrath remember mercy.
tired. needful. unable. frustration. white black grey. struggle. dilemma.
purity. i need.
it is a misery to be unable to enjoy the exercise. the eyes, the itchiness. they refuse to open. the heat and humidity clinging onto you. it is so hard to breathe. no breeze to bring some relief. the heat radiating from the cloudy sky. the body succumbing to ill discipline once again. the drudgery. i just want to grip this little island and give it a good shake and shout why no wind!! roars. i'd gladly run the treadmill with full wind function which i talked about previously. and! the fan in my room failed me just as this bout of humidity hit me.
going along the familiar route. the bright airy weekend morning mood going for band pracs. no trespassing trespassers will be prosecuted. the sign is gone now. multiple climbs over the gate. the barbed wire has dropped down now. it'd be easier to climb over the gate now. the friendly lion waving to us. the days of wearing uniform.
the morning was heavy with dew. the stray dogs emerge from the misty distance and linger around the lonely roads. hawkers starting up their stalls. the peacefulness. the simplicity. it tugs at my heart strings. the stray dogs are just so adorable. that little kitty mewing away at that tyre. poor thing! so dangerous!
to be a mum you need to be able to make quick decisions and fast actions, bark out orders and set things right while 5 conversations are going on at once, the tv on at full blast, 6 kids running around and being completely crazy. and you must still be nice. it is scary.
ah. to be contented. do justly. love mercy. walk humbly with thy God.
we will all return to dust anyway. the pains the aches. i'd rather die young. but depends on whether i've completed my purpose on earth. "when it's time for you to die, make sure all you have to do is die."
revive us again. the work of thy hands. in the midst of the years make known. in wrath remember mercy.
tired. needful. unable. frustration. white black grey. struggle. dilemma.
purity. i need.
Friday, December 5, 2008 @ meeting for meat
we had a mini-care group outing yesterday! met hannah,huien,kz for a FOOD session at tanjong pagar. we met 'bread pitt' there!! haha. and we were once again reminded of the power of any piece of processed wood to 'book' a seat.
we ordered hainanese chicken rice, fish porridge, beef brisket noodles, oh-jian, goreng pisang, sugarcane juice, soya bean milk with chinchow. poor kz queued the longest for the fish porridge while we sat there taking photos of the food. everyone looking at us must have been wondering what we were doing sitting there for 20min with all the food on the table and not eating it. when kz finally arrived with the porridge, we took a group photo! on huien's camera and digged in!! :) after that we moved to another end of the hawker centre and got hum chee pang. we even got to fry our own hum chee pangs, much to the amusement of the other customers. 'you two can't even hold the chopsticks properly!' yes. that's right. well, the HUGE chopsticks amplified the wrong way we were holding it! otherwise i could have flipped those flour blobs easily. haha after that we sat around and talked a bit more and then huien actually wanted to get more food! i forgot whether it was kz or huien who first wanted to get the soya bean icecream from mr bean. for me i would rather eat the famous pancake (mun chin kuey) because there were other mr bean stalls i can buy the icecream from next time. however, one glance at the pancake started my stomach protesting so i had to concede defeat. no more food! huien wanted to order a green bean one and all 4 of us share, but the last one was sold before we could buy it. so huien and kz returned to plan A and went for their soya bean icecream. but that stall doesn't sell icecream, so huien went for rotiprata instead!! therefore, the last (wo)man standing, or rather, eating, was huien, our co-caregrp leader, who suggests to have our nxt theme verse be "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." 1Th 5:21. haha blame it all on the rain that confined us to the place of good food with some not very sane people. haha.
after that i met bh and gang to go charmaine's birthday after that. but of course, after much getting lost and getting them annoyed at me. i don't think i will EVER know my way around singapore. especially when i don't mind getting lost. it's a chance to discover things! ok anyway, we then looked for a present for charmaine. they wanted to give her a hello kitty bag at first (i know i know. but it's actually not as hideous as it sounds. it's black and the hello kitty is not that obvious) but we think its quality is not worth the price, so we wanted to get perfume, but i thought it would be too great a risk of getting something she doesn't like (and smell is one of the strongest trigger of memory so it better be good and significant). we ended up buying something from body shop. then we took a bus to cck where we met sanjay before reaching her place at ard 7.30. her ntu friends were there already. they actually helped her to decorate and plan games and buy the cake too as part of her birthday present. when we reached they were playing charades. rather fun and funny but nothing can ever bit the kz-weiyong telepathy! haha. mark, freddy and yuman were there already. i was rather surprised to see mark cos i thought he'd be back in msia already. found out freddy's going to study in london next semester! interesting. and yuman hasn't changed at all. hmm actually almost everyone hasn't really changed. yq turned up later and the first thing he did was to distractedly walk up to the front (where his gang was sitting) and was dragged to act out a charade. he's back in canoeing. some things nv change eh? and i realise it's quite hard to find people as blur/blurrer than me and maybe that's why i enjoy their company. hahas. i thought dian would go but she didn't turn up in the end.
it ended surprisingly early but i was soo tired i don't know why.
the masks, the shields.
it is queer.
i still can't figure it out, but i can only hope and trust.
just don't let me hurt anybody, don't let me have my own way.
Take my voice, and let me sing
always, only, for my King.
I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being. My meditation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD. -Psa104:33-44
as long as he gives me the voice, i will sing with all my heart, soul and mind. thankful for the ability. a sacrifice of praise.
ain't no rock gonna sing His praises.
i lift my voice to glorify His Holy Name.
ain't no tree gonna raise its branches.
i lift my hands to glorify His Holy Name.
can the dead praise Him? i will sing while there is breath in me.
we ordered hainanese chicken rice, fish porridge, beef brisket noodles, oh-jian, goreng pisang, sugarcane juice, soya bean milk with chinchow. poor kz queued the longest for the fish porridge while we sat there taking photos of the food. everyone looking at us must have been wondering what we were doing sitting there for 20min with all the food on the table and not eating it. when kz finally arrived with the porridge, we took a group photo! on huien's camera and digged in!! :) after that we moved to another end of the hawker centre and got hum chee pang. we even got to fry our own hum chee pangs, much to the amusement of the other customers. 'you two can't even hold the chopsticks properly!' yes. that's right. well, the HUGE chopsticks amplified the wrong way we were holding it! otherwise i could have flipped those flour blobs easily. haha after that we sat around and talked a bit more and then huien actually wanted to get more food! i forgot whether it was kz or huien who first wanted to get the soya bean icecream from mr bean. for me i would rather eat the famous pancake (mun chin kuey) because there were other mr bean stalls i can buy the icecream from next time. however, one glance at the pancake started my stomach protesting so i had to concede defeat. no more food! huien wanted to order a green bean one and all 4 of us share, but the last one was sold before we could buy it. so huien and kz returned to plan A and went for their soya bean icecream. but that stall doesn't sell icecream, so huien went for rotiprata instead!! therefore, the last (wo)man standing, or rather, eating, was huien, our co-caregrp leader, who suggests to have our nxt theme verse be "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." 1Th 5:21. haha blame it all on the rain that confined us to the place of good food with some not very sane people. haha.
after that i met bh and gang to go charmaine's birthday after that. but of course, after much getting lost and getting them annoyed at me. i don't think i will EVER know my way around singapore. especially when i don't mind getting lost. it's a chance to discover things! ok anyway, we then looked for a present for charmaine. they wanted to give her a hello kitty bag at first (i know i know. but it's actually not as hideous as it sounds. it's black and the hello kitty is not that obvious) but we think its quality is not worth the price, so we wanted to get perfume, but i thought it would be too great a risk of getting something she doesn't like (and smell is one of the strongest trigger of memory so it better be good and significant). we ended up buying something from body shop. then we took a bus to cck where we met sanjay before reaching her place at ard 7.30. her ntu friends were there already. they actually helped her to decorate and plan games and buy the cake too as part of her birthday present. when we reached they were playing charades. rather fun and funny but nothing can ever bit the kz-weiyong telepathy! haha. mark, freddy and yuman were there already. i was rather surprised to see mark cos i thought he'd be back in msia already. found out freddy's going to study in london next semester! interesting. and yuman hasn't changed at all. hmm actually almost everyone hasn't really changed. yq turned up later and the first thing he did was to distractedly walk up to the front (where his gang was sitting) and was dragged to act out a charade. he's back in canoeing. some things nv change eh? and i realise it's quite hard to find people as blur/blurrer than me and maybe that's why i enjoy their company. hahas. i thought dian would go but she didn't turn up in the end.
it ended surprisingly early but i was soo tired i don't know why.
the masks, the shields.
it is queer.
i still can't figure it out, but i can only hope and trust.
just don't let me hurt anybody, don't let me have my own way.
Take my voice, and let me sing
always, only, for my King.
I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being. My meditation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD. -Psa104:33-44
as long as he gives me the voice, i will sing with all my heart, soul and mind. thankful for the ability. a sacrifice of praise.
ain't no rock gonna sing His praises.
i lift my voice to glorify His Holy Name.
ain't no tree gonna raise its branches.
i lift my hands to glorify His Holy Name.
can the dead praise Him? i will sing while there is breath in me.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 @ to love and not be respected
that remark that remains with me through the years. that statement that i just cannot forget though i don't think it is significant to the person who said it.
i've been busy devouring books. just discovered gems in our bookshelf. all the new christian books as well as the books my sis got from india. ahh i don't think i'll be able to finish reading them before going back :( wanted to be productive and make cards for cgf over the hols but realised e materials are back in melb. it's just a wrong combination of materials and equipment. how frustrating. so i shall just satisfy myself with books.
amazed at the people God brought into my life. everytime i look back, i am amazed at the friends who have stayed around, stuck on and persisted, despite my passiveness. the very lovely and beautiful people who have made my life so much more meaningful. yes i ought to be ashamed of myself. how could anyone love this wretched little thing, whose every niceness is filled with hypocrisy and filled with rot through and through in the innermost parts. why would u love such an unlovable person and drive yourself to frustration? i can only be grateful. only a sinner saved by grace. remember that the niceness of anyone is not because of themselves but because of Christ in them.
the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. which in God's sight is of great price.
the grass grew spuriously in summer in melbourne. the grass grows viciously all year round over here. haha
looking around, it all says 'maintenance, maintenance, maintenance'. the 1:3 slope and little pockets of lawn disallows the use of lawnmowers. the hedges growing out of shape with neglect.
i don't like rashes. swimming worsens it because of the chlorine. running worsens it because of the heat. so i stay at home and eat and itch. what a bad lifestyle!
antisocial. i think it is just an excuse. or is it really?
yes it is extremely hot. but the sun still makes me smile. may i remember to smile back at the sun each day :)
i've been busy devouring books. just discovered gems in our bookshelf. all the new christian books as well as the books my sis got from india. ahh i don't think i'll be able to finish reading them before going back :( wanted to be productive and make cards for cgf over the hols but realised e materials are back in melb. it's just a wrong combination of materials and equipment. how frustrating. so i shall just satisfy myself with books.
amazed at the people God brought into my life. everytime i look back, i am amazed at the friends who have stayed around, stuck on and persisted, despite my passiveness. the very lovely and beautiful people who have made my life so much more meaningful. yes i ought to be ashamed of myself. how could anyone love this wretched little thing, whose every niceness is filled with hypocrisy and filled with rot through and through in the innermost parts. why would u love such an unlovable person and drive yourself to frustration? i can only be grateful. only a sinner saved by grace. remember that the niceness of anyone is not because of themselves but because of Christ in them.
the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. which in God's sight is of great price.
the grass grew spuriously in summer in melbourne. the grass grows viciously all year round over here. haha
looking around, it all says 'maintenance, maintenance, maintenance'. the 1:3 slope and little pockets of lawn disallows the use of lawnmowers. the hedges growing out of shape with neglect.
i don't like rashes. swimming worsens it because of the chlorine. running worsens it because of the heat. so i stay at home and eat and itch. what a bad lifestyle!
antisocial. i think it is just an excuse. or is it really?
yes it is extremely hot. but the sun still makes me smile. may i remember to smile back at the sun each day :)
Monday, December 1, 2008 @ happenings
not in a poetic mood again. somehow whenever it comes i cannot get access to the computer, hence the lack of updates.
the means of grace which i had just missed in melbourne was ministered unto me on the first sunday back here. celebrated joy's birthday with them.went to make ic.a hectic and adventurous cooking session and then the first prayer meeting. met up with linjiejie.went to batu pahat on saturday. cut hair. jinyi's wedding dinner. visited 6th uncle's new baby. ate cendol. went jogging with lousy shoes and got blisters. ate mangosteen, passionfruit, and i don't know the other names. brought ah ma to visit some other relative. woke up at 6am to go JB on tue. visited the dentist. did facial. helped mum choose clothes. went back sg near midnight. the next day met up with the other jiemeis to discuss the wedding day plans. on thu woke up at 5.30am to prepare. wore heels from 8am-12pm and roamed botanic gardens to take photos! poor feet. went home and slept the whole afternoon, then had to prepare for the wedding dinner. tireds.
28nov was pa's birthday. we went to this crab place at ghim moh and ate chilli crab! with kangkong and tiebandoufu, the usual. and lime juice. had mantou with the chilli crab sauce. yummy!! i like the mantou :) sat went to this camera workshop with mum. had lunch at a nearby hawker centre (lousy food) then went queensway to check my specs then went to walk around ikea. then went swimming in the evening forgetting it was saturday and had one of the worst swimming sessions i had in a while. they keep separating the lanes in the pools recently. roars. hope they won't become like the australia's one lane system next time.
eat eat eat. the more i eat the more sluggish i become.
jema insists: sleep less do more!
i propose: eat less do more!
think i have been such a slug really. a lousy soldier in the army. how to use a flabby blob in a battle? wake up wake up!
i miss the running conditions in melbourne: the cool cool wind and the playful dogssssss :)
my nah spar row.
the means of grace which i had just missed in melbourne was ministered unto me on the first sunday back here. celebrated joy's birthday with them.went to make ic.a hectic and adventurous cooking session and then the first prayer meeting. met up with linjiejie.went to batu pahat on saturday. cut hair. jinyi's wedding dinner. visited 6th uncle's new baby. ate cendol. went jogging with lousy shoes and got blisters. ate mangosteen, passionfruit, and i don't know the other names. brought ah ma to visit some other relative. woke up at 6am to go JB on tue. visited the dentist. did facial. helped mum choose clothes. went back sg near midnight. the next day met up with the other jiemeis to discuss the wedding day plans. on thu woke up at 5.30am to prepare. wore heels from 8am-12pm and roamed botanic gardens to take photos! poor feet. went home and slept the whole afternoon, then had to prepare for the wedding dinner. tireds.
28nov was pa's birthday. we went to this crab place at ghim moh and ate chilli crab! with kangkong and tiebandoufu, the usual. and lime juice. had mantou with the chilli crab sauce. yummy!! i like the mantou :) sat went to this camera workshop with mum. had lunch at a nearby hawker centre (lousy food) then went queensway to check my specs then went to walk around ikea. then went swimming in the evening forgetting it was saturday and had one of the worst swimming sessions i had in a while. they keep separating the lanes in the pools recently. roars. hope they won't become like the australia's one lane system next time.
eat eat eat. the more i eat the more sluggish i become.
jema insists: sleep less do more!
i propose: eat less do more!
think i have been such a slug really. a lousy soldier in the army. how to use a flabby blob in a battle? wake up wake up!
i miss the running conditions in melbourne: the cool cool wind and the playful dogssssss :)
my nah spar row.