the suspense and mystery on the screen translated to the pool of blood on the floor before you. it was a little surreal. why scream why be frantic. is it just a show, something u can brag about, an rare experience to be paraded in front of friends. is it all about who is the hero of this episode? i only know if that was it i failed terribly again. i've told myself let it never be because of 'me'. the throbbing pain at the back of the skull in the afternoon. the light brought to my attention at night. they are all like warnings sent before the disaster struck.
it is a misery to be unable to enjoy the exercise. the eyes, the itchiness. they refuse to open. the heat and humidity clinging onto you. it is so hard to breathe. no breeze to bring some relief. the heat radiating from the cloudy sky. the body succumbing to ill discipline once again. the drudgery. i just want to grip this little island and give it a good shake and shout why no wind!! roars. i'd gladly run the treadmill with full wind function which i talked about previously. and! the fan in my room failed me just as this bout of humidity hit me.
going along the familiar route. the bright airy weekend morning mood going for band pracs. no trespassing trespassers will be prosecuted. the sign is gone now. multiple climbs over the gate. the barbed wire has dropped down now. it'd be easier to climb over the gate now. the friendly lion waving to us. the days of wearing uniform.
the morning was heavy with dew. the stray dogs emerge from the misty distance and linger around the lonely roads. hawkers starting up their stalls. the peacefulness. the simplicity. it tugs at my heart strings. the stray dogs are just so adorable. that little kitty mewing away at that tyre. poor thing! so dangerous!
to be a mum you need to be able to make quick decisions and fast actions, bark out orders and set things right while 5 conversations are going on at once, the tv on at full blast, 6 kids running around and being completely crazy. and you must still be nice. it is scary.
ah. to be contented. do justly. love mercy. walk humbly with thy God.
we will all return to dust anyway. the pains the aches. i'd rather die young. but depends on whether i've completed my purpose on earth. "when it's time for you to die, make sure all you have to do is die."
revive us again. the work of thy hands. in the midst of the years make known. in wrath remember mercy.
tired. needful. unable. frustration. white black grey. struggle. dilemma.
purity. i need.