when it rears its ugly head, suddenly you see it in plain sight. when you discover that the monster inside of you is more fearful than that outside. the fountain of bitter waters. a corrupt tree. the poisonous fruits.
yet aren't you relieved you recognised it? how many times have you communed with it and satisfy its every desire? how often have you entertained it and fed it and strengthened it?
casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Jesus Christ. 2 Cor 10:5
indeed he has taught me not to compare.
indeed i can do nothing by myself, and have nothing by myself.
i'll be satisfied in the knowledge of my own wretchedness and comforted in the knowledge of the extent of his love.
indeed he remembers that we are but dust. but we forget so. we always want to achieve something, to be someone.
he can make me to finish all my assignments even in the next hour if he so wills. you can be in heaven with him today if he so wills. but he wants to let us taste the fullness of his grace, to give to us our king's portion daily, to learn the sweetness of trusting in him.
just to live day by day, moment by moment, faithfully serving with whatsoever he has given me.