it's so weird to miss those seemingly boring and insignificant times. waiting for ma at customs. going dentist in jb. doing absolutely nothing at ahyi's place. sitting on the grand stand with ren just staring opposite the track and being slack. going to the dentist. having the really delicious meal before going for tooth extraction. spending a whole day at home just listening to the cuckoo announcing the time as it passes. sitting at home listening to the howling winds and rain outside.
yea, that's how walter richmond butler became more english the longer he stayed in australia. ironic.
the joy of restoration. the intimate sweetness of fellowship and rest. how could i have forsaken. how could i have forgotten. how my heart is wrenched at the thought of future straying. yet i know he is faithful. why put myself through this over and over again. so that i may realise again and again the truth i've already learnt? to stay forever this way. in this posture of reception. to be still in his presence. just the two of us. just you and me. alone yet not lonely.