it's so dry i can't swallow it.can't keep up with it.like a stone forced down my mouth every week.
i took for granted the interest i had for my other subjects.the state of peril.
you must read the newspaper everyday and scrutinize every word.
you must search for any magazines you can find and scourge every article.
you must hound all the librarians for all the materials you can get.
you must spend all your time with the computer improving your relationship with it.
you must after that get on good terms with its friend, the printer/plotter; all these knowing that they hate you. they mock at your inability to talk in their language.
you must be able to look at a blank wall and dream beyond it.
i guess i should start with the brick wall right outside our window.
indeed, enjoyment is a gift.
all it takes is for a coffee to turn my day around. to spark that just-do-it punch back into my attitude. ah this is so bad. but i feel better now, though i can still feel like puking sometimes. haha this is all so ironic.